Never Give and Read It Again Sign for Kids

100 Funny Jokes for Kids

That will Make the Whole Family Laugh

Flex your funny bone with these child-approved jokes that will go along every member of the family in stitches. Pick a category or accept turns going downwards the list to see how many yous become right. Keep the list handy for route trips or to make mealtime more fun!

Animal Jokes

1. What creature loves a baseball game game?
   A bat.
2. What did the Dalmatian say afterward finishing her breakfast?
   That striking the spot.
3. What is blackness and white and crimson all over?
   An embarrassed zebra.
4. Where is a moo-cow's favorite place to go?
   The mooooovies.
5. What practise y'all telephone call an alligator that solves mysteries?
   An investi-gator.
6. Why didn't the frog park his car on the street?
   He didn't want to get toad.
7. What'south a cat'south favorite color?
   Purrr-ple.
8. What do ducks beloved to put in their soup?
   Quakers.
9. Why did the panthera leo spit out the clown?
   He tasted funny.
10. What has 6 eyes but cannot come across?
    Three bullheaded mice.

Space Jokes

11. What is an astronaut's favorite push on a keyboard?
    The spacebar.
12. How do y'all know when the moon has had plenty to consume?
    When information technology's full.
13. What do planets love to read?
    Comet books.
14. What exercise Martians like to drink?
    Gravi-TEA.
15. What is an astronaut's favorite repast of the day?
    Launch.
16. Why did the alien get to the medico?
    He was looking a niggling green.
17. What did Venus say to Saturn?
    Give me a ring.
18. What do you call ticks in space?
    Luna-ticks.
19. What do planets sing in a choir?
    Nep-tunes.
20. Why did the sun refuse to go to school?
    It already had a 1000000 degrees.

Weather Jokes

21. What'southward a tornado'southward favorite game to play at a political party?
    Twister.
22. What fruit has to put on sunscreen at the beach?
    Bananas - because they peel.
23. What doesn't become whatsoever wetter no thing how much it rains?
    The sea.
24. What is a gust of current of air'due south favorite color?
    Blew.
25. Why did the woman take a ketchup bottle outside when it was raining?
    Because it was raining cats and hot dogs.
26. What does a cloud article of clothing under his raincoat?
    Thunderwear.
27. Where do happy lightning bolts alive?
    Deject nine.
28. What does a ghost wear to splash in puddles?
    BOOOOOOOts.
29. What did one hurricane say to the other hurricane?
    I have my eye on yous.
30. What is the heaven's favorite accompaniment?
    A rainbow.

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Food Jokes

31. What do you phone call a sad strawberry?
    A blueberry.
32. What is a banana's favorite footwear?
    Slippers.
33. What food is never on time?
    Choco-belatedly.
34. Why did the melon go for a swim?
    Information technology wanted to exist a watermelon.
35. Where do hamburgers go dancing?
    At meat-balls.
36. What do ghosts eat for dessert?
    Ice-SCREAM.
37. What type of bagel loves to wing?
    A plane bagel.
38. What do yous call cheese that isn't yours?
    Nacho-cheese.
39. Why didn't jelly trust the peanut butter with a secret?
    It spreads too easily.

Music Jokes

40. What'south an avocado's favorite kind of music?
    Guac and roll!
41. Why couldn't the man open the piano?
    The keys were left inside.
42. What blazon of music practise frogs like?
    Hip-hop.
43. What musical instrument is institute in the bath?
    A tuba toothpaste.
44. What'south the difference between a guitar and a fish?
    You can't tuna fish.
45. Why did the girl sit on the ladder to sing her solo?
    She wanted to hitting the high notes.
46. Why did the pianist put his head on the piano?
    He was trying to play by ear.
47. What instrument do turkeys play?
    The drumstick.
48. How practise you lot make a bandstand?
    Take abroad the chairs.

Pirate Jokes

49. What's a pirate'due south favorite instrument?
    The guit-arrr!
50. Why do pirates beloved to go shopping?
    They always notice things on sail.
51. Why are pirates so difficult to get along with?
    They always arrrr-gue.
52. What's a pirate's favorite kind of fish?
    Swordfish.
53. Why couldn't the pirates play cards?
    They were all standing on the deck.
54. What blazon of haircut does a pirate honey to wear?
    A crew cut.
55. Why couldn't the pirate stop watching her favorite show?
    She was hooked.
56. How did the pirate telephone call his mother?
    On his yeah-phone.
57. What exercise pirates wear when it gets cold?
    Arrr-gyle sweaters.
58. What exercise does a pirate like best?
    Planking.

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Dinosaur Jokes

59. What type of dinosaur sleeps all the time?
    A dino-snore.
60. Why did the dinosaur go to the doctor?
    He had an heart-saur.
61. What practise you lot telephone call a dinosaur ghost?
    A scaredactyl.
62. How did the dinosaur build her firm?
    With a dino-saw.
63. What exercise you call twin dinosaurs?
    Pair-odactyls!
64. What do yous call a dinosaur that knows a lot of words?
    A thesaurus!
65. Who do dinosaurs cheer for at a rodeo?
    Bronco-saurus.
66. What do you telephone call a dinosaur that asks a lot of deep questions?
    A philosiraptor.
67. Why should you lot never ask a dinosaur to read a story if you are in a hurry?
    Their tales are too long.
68. Why don't y'all come across dinosaurs at Easter?
    Considering they are egg-stinct.

Schoolhouse Jokes

69. Why are math books e'er upset?
    They have a lot of problems.
70. What is the smartest creature?
    Fish! They are always in school.
71. Why do calculators make the all-time friends?
    You tin count on them.
72. What'due south a snake's favorite subject?
    Hissss-tory.
73. What did the glue say to the instructor?
    I'm stuck on yous!
74. Why was the bird sent to the principal's office?
    She was caught tweeting.
75. Why was the broom late for school?
    He over-swept.
76. How do fish get to school in the forenoon?
    They have the octobus.
77. How practise you get directly A's?
    Employ a ruler.
78. Why are squares and triangles ever exercising?
    They desire to stay in shape.

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Cross the Route Jokes

79. Why did the safety chicken cross the road?
    To stretch her legs.
80. Why did the turkey cross the road?
    To show he wasn't chicken.
81. Why did the fish cross the road?
    To become to the other tide.
82. How did the egg cross the route?
    It scrambled across.
83. Why did the lamb cross the route?
    To get to the baaaaarber store.
84. Why did the snake cross the road?
    To get to the other ssssssside!
85. Why did the babe skeleton cross the road?
    Considering her mummy was on the other side.
86. Why did the nose cantankerous the road?
    Information technology was tired of getting picked on.
87. Why did the plate get stuck on the route?
    Information technology saw a fork alee.
88. Why did the turtle cross the road?
    To get to the shell station.
89. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
    Because he didn't have the guts.

Holiday Jokes

90. What music is best to listen to on St. Patrick's Day?
    Shamrock and roll.
91. What practice snowmen eat for breakfast?
    Snowflakes.
92. Why did Santa get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve?
    He was parked in a snow parking zone.
93. What type of bloom should you non give on Valentine's Day?
    Cauli-bloom.
94. Where does the Easter Bunny eat breakfast?
    IHOP.
95. How do gingerbread people make their beds?
    With cookie sheets.
96. Why does the Easter Bunny's hair e'er look so good?
    He uses a lot of hare spray.
97. What practise you get when a snowman crosses a vampire?
    Frostbite.
98. Why do leprechauns love to garden?
    They have greenish thumbs.
99. Why didn't the skeleton desire to become to the Valentine's trip the light fantastic?
    His heart wasn't in it.

Sports Jokes

100. Why did the golfer wear 2 pairs of pants?
     He had a hole in one.
101. Why are cookies and milk a basketball squad's favorite dessert?
     They dearest to dunk.
102. What did the baseball glove say to the brawl?
     Catch you lot later!
103. Why practice basketball players behave extra napkins?
     They are always dribbling.
104. Why did the football game coach go to the depository financial institution?
     To get his quarter back.
105. Why do tennis players make the worst neighbors?
     They make a lot of racquet.
106. What is an insect'southward favorite sport?
     Cricket.
107. What sport do hairdressers beloved the most?
     Curling.
108. What is a cheerleader'southward favorite potable?
     Root beer.

Make your family time more than enjoyable with a few of these jokes to create some laughter. A little laughter brightens the mood and makes the random moments of life more joy-filled. Spend fourth dimension with the crew and LOL with these great jokes then add a few of your ain! Besides, be sure to try out a few of these knock knock jokes to spice things up.

Courtney McLaughlin is a freelance writer in Charlotte, N.C. She gratefully shares her life, habitation and heart with her girl and their canis familiaris.

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